I fell in love with the concept of blogging since day one...yet I've never though it could raise so many issues on my side. Recently I discovered that the hardest thing to do was to talk about my feelings, about me in such a public way. There were times when I was standing in front of the laptop and I could just not convert my feelings into words. Who would have thought that about me, the person that uses feelings as a compass for 99% of all situations.

Well, because there is no better day to start than today here it goes: I commit myself to updating this blogg with personal thoughts and things I gather from living the life I live right now.

I was recently evaluating the way my life has twisted and folded and how it all evolved. I thought about my early years in school and how having a teatcher that liked nature made me fall in love with it ....about how I would always quarrel with the boys in my class, standing up for making fun of me or of other girlz in the class...about the times spend in the german youthforum organisation, my first social group, my first boyfriend met there, and the first attemps to defining myself as an individual...and fianlly about AIESEC where I first learnt what respect ment, what being equal ment, what appreciating the ones around you and YOURSELF really ment.

And as Marin Sorescu said, there comes a time when you have to draw a line, to summ up all the things that have happened to you and to reach a conclusion.

Drawing the conclusions I have just shared with you, I feel that somethings is slowly coming to an end along with my University...and it's that feeling of certainty that you have, certainty related to your future.
There is no University year coming. Not even a Masters, I woun't make it that easy.
There will be so many other choices than just going to school or doing stuff inside AIESEC. There will be decisions that affect you on the long run and there's just YOU deciding what happenns so there is no one else to blame for consequences you're facing afterwards.

You know what the funny part is...I want all that!! I want to feel that I'm in charge of my life, to feel that that change is all around me in some sort of latent form. When I start thinking about it, I have that feeling in my stomach: a strange mixture of enthusiam and fear of not knowing what comes.

I'm not in my comfort zone any more-that's great, finally I'm starting to grow and look at things with my new set of blue eyes.

Here's to change,

Cheers.


Added later

And for the ones of you who have read this post long time ago and still await a lousy post from my side, know that since day one of writing that post I created my new blog which I update regularly. U can find it at the following addresse: mihaelahuluta.blogspot.com.

I'm sorry of forgetting to inform about this minor detail :P.

So for the ones that have this last addresse of my blog as a link on your blog, please be so kind to update it.

Huges Hugs,
Hash